I was depressed after the election, I called Lifeline.
Got their call center in Pakistan.
I told them I was suicidal.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.
Saturday, December 13, 2008
Saturday, December 06, 2008
Bill Joins the Hillary Nutcracker
You've probably seen the Hillary Nutcracker at hillarynutcracker.com. I got one, along with a bag of Clinton's nuts. Unlike its namesake, my Hillary Nutcracker remains virgin because, now that I have one of these collector's items, I can't imagine eating anything that's been between those thighs.
Well, now they've added the Bill Clinton Corkscrew. (If you visit hillarynutcracker.com, don't miss the 30-second video of Bill rising to the occasion) I wanted one to complete my set, but now I've realized that I'd never want to drink from a bottle that Bill's corkscrew had been stuck into.
P.S.: If you need a bit more background to fully appreciate the poetry of the corkscrew idea, just yahoo "clinton peyronie."
P.P.S.: I have replaced the verb to google in my lexicon with the verb to yahoo. I don't know whether Yahoo! is better, but I do not wish to increase the ad revenues of a company that spies on Chinese citizens and censors conservative American web sites.
Well, now they've added the Bill Clinton Corkscrew. (If you visit hillarynutcracker.com, don't miss the 30-second video of Bill rising to the occasion) I wanted one to complete my set, but now I've realized that I'd never want to drink from a bottle that Bill's corkscrew had been stuck into.
P.S.: If you need a bit more background to fully appreciate the poetry of the corkscrew idea, just yahoo "clinton peyronie."
P.P.S.: I have replaced the verb to google in my lexicon with the verb to yahoo. I don't know whether Yahoo! is better, but I do not wish to increase the ad revenues of a company that spies on Chinese citizens and censors conservative American web sites.
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